uncle_sydney (uncle_sydney) wrote,


Since I don't seem to be using this for much else, I figured I could at least start throwing out crappy game reviews. If nothing else, it'll help "me" remember what I've rented and when. So, here's the first couple...

Yes, I rented Playboy: The Mansion. Why? Because I admit, I'm sick and wrong. Besides, Leisure Suit Larry was out. Yes, there really is a new LLL game for PS2. Anyway, P:TM. If you've ever play The Sims, then you already know most of the basic layout, and controls. It seems to be somewhat more glitch prone then The Sims, (random neverending animations, people getting stuck in the scenery, etc.) The graphics aren't terrible, even considering the PS2's limitations in that area. But once again, it's for all intents, a Sims add on for PS2.

Where it departs, is the premise. Obviously. You get to be a young Hef, and build your Playboy empire. Sign playmates, hire staff, build your mansion, and fuck anything with 2 tits, a hole and a heartbeat. Yes, a PS2 game with gratuitous sex, instead of the usual gratuitous violence. No pussy footing around with the sex and nudity, ala Grand Theft Auto. Tits in a PS2 game. Not covered tits, but fully exposed, excessivly large, full giggly motion tits.

On a slightly more socially redeeming side, depending on your point of view, the load screen blurbs on Playboy trivia are interesting. (40% of playmates are blonde; most come from Hawaii, California, and Washington DC; and are most likely to be a Libra)

Bottom Line, The Sims for pervs. But you have to give credit to anyone with the balls to put "Have sex on couch" as a command in a PS2 game.

Then, there's The Punisher. Which, from what I've been led to believe about the movie, surprisingly doesn't suck.

Fairly realistic, in a way the Comic Book Code would never approve, but still keeping the dark, cynical tone of the books. What do I mean by realistic?
Well, it get's a "fairly realistic" because while it does the all the calibres right for each model, it doesn't bother to name them correctly. Also, while some guns perform as you would expect, (Shotguns are messy at close range, and the M60 will remove limbs) The AK clone should have a bit more punch, and you're almost better off just throwing the FN P90 at the baddies. The 5.56 crowd will either have complaints similar to the AK, or they'll think it performs as expected, depending on which side of 'that' argument you fall on.

One gun oddity for a modern game, not set in a historical time frame. There is NO 9 mm in the game. Pistols include .45, .50, and .500. The Bushie pistol even makes a well deserved appearance in 5.56. But the MP5, which every action title with guns "must" have, comes in .40 of all things.

Overall, the game play isn't anything stunningly new. But it is a fun way to relieve stress, and you have to like a game that offers laundry tips while you wait for it to load.
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